I had an interesting conversation with one of my business partners the other day about how funny human behavior really is. It seems that while most of us want a more free and abundant lifestyle where we have more time and more money to do the things we really want to do, not everyone is willing to do what it takes to get it.

Instead, most people (not you and me of course) would rather wait for their boss, the government, the lottery or a rich uncle to hand them their perfect life on a silver platter. Most people will live their lives ‘waiting’ for something or someone to come along and change their life for the better, never getting past their own limiting beliefs or comfort zone and taking the action required… even though they have likely had ALOT of opportunity come their way.

In my experience the biggest barrier that keeps people from living ‘extra-ordinary’ lives is their inner story.. the stuff they tell themselves.. otherwise known as EXCUSES and OBJECTIONS. When revealed, some of our inner stories can help us grow and gain new understanding, while some are toxic and their poison truly prevents us from achieving ANY of our life’s goals. To me, there is a BIG difference between EXCUSES and OBJECTIONS. Here’s a definition as I see it.

OBJECTIONS – When an objection is revealed it is often a question in disguise. They are seeking guidance and an answer. The biggest ones out there, the elephants in the room, are the NO TIME and NO MONEY objections. If I see that someone has drive and desire and is someone I truly want to work with, I’ll do my best to answer this question for them.

‘It is exactly because you have (no time/no money) that you are here meeting with me. You’re obviously looking for a solution. And while I can’t make any promises, I can offer my guidance and assistance so that you can create MORE time and MORE money in your life. You know it’s possible. Other people are doing it. You can too. And I can show you how. If you’re willing to make a commitment to change things for the better, I’m willing to make a commitment to help.’

If after offering an answer and my assistance, they STILL have an objection or come up with new ones… I know they are fortifying their reasons for NOT taking action. They KNOW and FEEL they should do something to change their life for the better.. but they are buying into and validating their objections. And that is a path I cannot follow. No one can save a person who is drowning if all they do is resist assistance and try to pull down the lifeguard who is trying to help them!

EXCUSES – To me, excuses are little white lies that we tell ourselves. Sometimes they turn into BIG lies.. and for some.. a habit that they can’t break free of. Excuses are insidious and crippling. And they are more difficult to get around because they are embedded into a person’s thought patterns from which they don’t see ANY possible answer.

Over time, people can build up additional beliefs and habits to support their excuses. They grow comfortable living with their excuses. And more often than not when I encounter that person in life and in business, I just give them a silent blessing and keep moving. I’m the lifeguard and if you’re going to resist saving and try to pull me down with you… I’ll just have to let you go to fend for yourself.

Let’s use NO TIME and NO MONEY again as an example.. but this time as an EXCUSE. Maybe this conversation is familiar to you.. from either side of it:

‘Hey Joe, thanks for taking a look at my business plan. Can you see how with my support and assistance you can create more time and more money in your life?’

‘No. I don’t have time for this and I don’t think you should have to pay money to own a business.’

‘So you’re saying that you don’t have the time and money to make MORE time and money?’

‘Yeah. I’m busy. I get home from work and all I want to do is chill out. My boss cut back on raises this year so I don’t have any extra money to just throw away.’

‘I see, so do you like being too tired from work to do anything else and not having enough money to do the things you want to do? Do you have a plan for changing that?’

‘No. I don’t like being sold. If I have time, I’ll think about it. But this just doesn’t work for me right now.’

‘Okay Joe. Thanks for meeting with me. Have a nice day.’

It’s funny when you look at it in black and white. Joe’s bulls**t excuses and lame defenses are obvious. The guy is in pain, but he is so convinced of his reasons and is so comfortable in his dis-comfort that he is unwilling to budge or let go of them.

If you are a network marketer.. or in sales.. or have tried to introduce anyone to any new idea.. you have likely run into EXCUSES and OBJECTIONS. By listening and asking a few simple questions you can determine just how committed they are and whether they can be helped by answering their OBJECTION or are trapped by validating and embedding those objections into habitual EXCUSES. One person may be saved.. the other will have to be left behind. Don’t let ANYONE take you down with them!

Tags: attraction marketing, home based business, lifestyle marketing, personal development

This entry was posted on November 6, 2010 at 6:01 pm. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

Posted in Just Posts by Bob Hebert 1 Comment